About those motorcycles...

"Many years ago when my friend taught me to ride [a motorcycle], he gave me this simple piece of advice. "Just remember two things," he said. "Nobody can see you, and everyone is out to kill you." " - Anonymous blockhead on Yahoo


Something about riding a motorcycle simply appeals to me, and seemingly also appeals to the stupidity and bravado of thousands of other tools and morons as well. There's simply some alluring quality of a motorcycle; a certain essence emanating from it that appeals to the primeval instincts of men- be it the hellsome noise, incredible speed, or logic-defying recklessness, it's there.


And that little quote up top there simply calls to mind Catch 22's Yossarian, a man paranoid of all his comrades and superiors in his Air Wing Combat Squadron, because although everyone's not out to get Yossarian, everyone's out to get Yossarian.
Ponder for a moment the various activities with which the average female teenage driver occupies herself whilst, and instead of, doing something so absurd as, pfft, driving a car. Two ton metal husk barreling across a streak of tar? No problem; time to text, do makeup, eat breakfast, and fix that wedgie... er, simultaneously. 

The fact remains that two tons of metal, according to what I suspect to be at least most laws of physics imply, can collide with three hundred pounds of strident motorcycle and cocooned flesh and shrug it off immediately. (refer once again to the lovely face above for the average reaction)
And yet, despite the overwhelming odds of death or injury stemming from simply looking at a motorcycle, men full of bravado and empowered by masculine invincibility (it's there until you actually need it) waltz into car dealerships or eBay motors and decide to basically sign a waiver of pending vehicular suicide; a.k.a. buy a motorcycle. Honestly, the best option in this case is simply to break your own leg and sand a few pounds of skin off your least favorite leg and arm on the spot... and then reconsidering the decision.


Unfortunately, none of this will stop me if I ever get to Cali to college. Livin' the dream checklist:

• Go to college in California
• Swim obnoxiously often
• Buy a motorcycle and ramp off boardwalks to get into the lung-icing water (preferable to wading in)
• Live the dream s'more.