CLC: (Cadet Leader's Course, featuring Fort of Hard Knox) "Packing List" v2.5, the Jerschina way

There's only a few days left before I'm off to Ft. Knox, Kentucky for a wonderful, exciting month of training! I had the absolute privilege of going on a CULP trip to Kosovo, and for in and out processing I was able to spend a short amount of time in the cadet barracks there; a sampling of things to come this year.

Now hold up- "barracks" seems to be an evokative and nominal term for many people, evoking glorious pictures of parades, men in fresh, starched uniforms and the Greatest Generation diligently preparing to invade the borders of the Axis of Evil.

When I say barracks, imagine a slum tenement from the 1920s getting a visit from the "convincable" health inspector. "Heya, Phil, y'know 3 toilets work in the entire building? And there's one roll of toilet paper to share between all 3- I saw cockroaches marching in formatiown down'th corridor earlier, too. Yah, I'll sign off on it, becuz' we're buds, but this is some jacked up shit you got going on hur, bud." 200 dollars of renovations later, you have something akin to Ft. Knox barracks- oddly cold during the day, furiously arctic at night, impenetrable layers of dust and grime with cadets wandering through halls, searching for purpose and escape from days to come and flooding portajohns in their near future.

Maybe not quite that bad, but if you go in with low expectations, you'll be pleasantly surprised, though I've heard enough stories about Densberges and Pickett to make me wary of any and all Army AOs. Anyway, here's some packing tips I've learned over lots of solo trips driving, hitchhiking, flying around, and talking to LDAC cadets from years past. Words of advice: Bring everything on your packing list you were told to bring by cadre, that should go without saying. Bring most of the optional stuff (sewing kit? Seriously? any aspiring seamstresses going to be around?...) and some more of this optional stuff that might just make the month crawl by with more gusto and see you return with a touch less of Lyme's disease.

Note: traveling on your own, you want to travel light. At Knox, you want to have your equipment prepared and ahead of time (that you were given by your detachment) and keep track of it (I sharpied just about all clothes, towels, equipment that could be sharpied on any oblong surface available- 500+cadets having identical gear? What can go wrong?) in order to expedite the shakedown and unpacking there. A bit of preparation on the front end saves lots of trouble on the backend. Anyways, here's some things that should be useful:

Anti mosquito arsenal
Army uniforms are treated with permethrin, an industrial pesticide. After an unauthorized procedure called "washing," ACUs begin to lose this potent deterrent to flying malarials. In your best dermal interests, consider-
1+oz of 98.11% DEET. I'm bringing a 4oz spray bottle and 1 oz pen for FOB days. Mosquito net: I read in an ArmyTimes interview with an LT, said he wished he brought a mosquito net... so this one's a nobrainer.
Bracelet, etc: I bought two "rechargeable" anti bug bracelets that I'll loop onto my assault pack and dab some DEET on to give me some additional protection from ticks, chiggers, leopard mosquitoes, and tiger lice that surely roam Knox and wait to pounce and bloody hapless cadets.

For the love of God, bring DEET.

Apparel
 On the packing list are 2 sets of casual clothing- remember, Kentucky is HOT. HOT. And unless you're there for 4th of July, chances are you'll only need this stuff on family day- just think smart.
Extra PTs- I wasn't issued ANY extra because the QM has a permanent shortage of PTs, aka they look nicer in shelves than on cadets. Hopefully I'll be able to purchase another 2 complete sets at the mini shopette there.
Extra tan Tshirts- somehow I ended up with nearly a dozen of these... and I'm taking 9 over the recommended 4. Will extra ones be issued?... Does it matter? If you've heard nightmares of their laundry service, of confused cadets winding up with bags of nothing but socks and the knickers of the CG, you'll be wise to bring extra anything you can wear and MARK IT SOMEHOW. Sharpie on the bottom of the hem where it's not visible when tucked so you can ID your own stuff among thousands of identical shirts.
Extra socks- seriously, 2 pairs of green and/or black socks? For a month? I don't care how many they issue us, there's few better feelings than slipping off sweaty boots, powdering your feet and having fresh, clean socks hug your feet and whisper, "I'll never let you go." If you bring too much of something, you'll  be able to stash it somewhere when we're not in the field (most likely... I mean, logic is a rare beast in the jungles of Knox). Helmet padding- I have a few small pads in my kevlar to distribute the weight better than the sweaty, wonderful suspension system that crowns you with pain and 3lbs of neck crushing goodness!

Cadet Stuff 
Some of this gear was noted "As required" on the supply sheet. Bring it because you're screwing yourself otherwise, things like: Notebooks- y'know, for writing OPORDs and writing letters? Rite in the rain notebook- I'm bringing one of these because the moment you don't think you need one... boom. Thunderstorm just as you're finishing a PLT combat OPORD and you're soaked, along with your precious OPORD skeleton that you just filled out and is now dribbling down onto your TMK in sodden paper bits. Remember- Fort Knox hates you, and once you accept that it's still uphill, but, uh, yeah. There's no upside, it's just nice realizing. Pens and pencils- laugh now and regret not having them when your TAC is making you cry over not having anything to write with and you whittle a pencil out of a branch and ashes. Folder- you'd think it's a no brainer... Keep papers, pamphlets, travel orders in here. Books/Kindle- even if they take this away during the shakedown, I'd rather take my chances. Without cadets being pressured to do retarded hip pocket training during all down time, there's the occasional lull in training (or waiting) and open opportunity to read... or play/bring playing cards! Worth their weight in gold during long days in the barracks, AKA every day in the barracks.
3x5 notecards- good for to-do lists, assigning positions and tasks to other cadets in garrison, jotting down notes when a notebook isn't suitable. Laundry- I'm bringing little pods, a cadet last year had laundry detergent explode in one of his duffel bags- equal parts hilarious and horrifying. Colored duct tape/sharpie- As mentioned earlier, there'll be plenty of times where 200+ duffel bags are being lobbed out of the back of a truck and guess what? They're identical! Label as much gear as you can, and duct tape your duffel bag or at least your locks so they're distinguishable in a sea of OD green and cadet sadness.

Attitude- leave your baditude at home. CST will have lots of terrible, terrible moments where you haven't showered for a few days and your PLT smells like Beelzebub's sphincter gone rogue and your tent was flooded and somehow alligators are patrolling the AO between tents. Come in with low expectations but high hopes for learning and developing as a leader. You're the 1%< of people in the USA that will ever be an officer, and that's a privilege; being able to serve our country and lead its finest. You'll butt heads with pants on head retarded cadets, that's normal anywhere you go. Suck it up and have fun with your battle buddies, make sure you know your OPORDs and TLPs and basic Mil Sci stuff and it won't be as bad as it could be!

Not a viable leadership strategy.

Hope you found this helpful as someone related to a CLC cadet, cadre, or just wondering about how great training is- so great! Have fun @ the Fort of Hard Knox, I know I will!.... hopefully.

Thoughts on a Plane (somewhere over the Continental USA)

Well, I figured a year hiatus of writing would get any audience ready for another dangle of goodness, right?! Here's a cop out: once upon a time, I was on a plane across the United States- the inside of a wonderful ol' C-17 cargo plane. It's a place that has a strange, cold familiarity to it. For context, I wrote this while beginning my month long trip overseas, which ended up with me traveling from New Jersey to Charleston, SC to Travis AFB in California to Hawaii to Japan to Shanghai Airport (doesn't count as the country if you're just at the airport!) to Korea for over a week, back through Japan and then to Anchorage Alaska with a wonderful, hospitable friend and finally a fateful 20 hour journey home through Edwards AFB involving waiting 6 hours for a Greyhound, walking five miles, and taking more public transportation than can possibly be healthy for you.

For you, the reader, I just poured geography soup on the screen. I'll elaborate on the good bits of the trip sometime, hopefully before I repeat the insanity this summer. However, right now I'm sharing something I wrote a few miles up when I had a terrible feeling of foreboding and anxiety like I'd never felt before- but I'll stop talking and you can start reading now, and gain a glimpse into the fear driven thoughts of Jerschina the Younger.

Imagine me in here, where it's cold and loud!

---------------------------

I paced around the steel body of the aircraft, bobbing my head anxiously, deep in thought. To calm myself, I walked over to one of the C17 side windows and peered down at the ground, trying to hash out a favorite lesson of mine: “Look at how small everything is from up here… everything we do is insignificant, save for the work of God. It’s just all worth nothing in the scale of things.”

"Wonder how many people down there are pooping right now..."

For some unfathomable reason, this did not help my anxiety at all. The problem was, much like eating a disgusting brownie, you’re not exactly sure what the problem is- poor baker hygiene? Too much sugar, not enough chocolate mocha lovin’ poured into the brownies? Except in this case, I was on my way to Travis Air Force Base in California with plenty of ideas but nothing serious. Japan was on the table, but as a cadet, I’m supposed to stay in the US, but that never stopped anyone, ey? There’s two nights in between flights to Hawaii and Japan, and I don’t know what to do- probably just hunker down in some corner of the base and sleep, hopefully unnoticed by MPs.

The anxiety started the moment I finished reading In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. I guess the sadness of finishing a book, which is comparable to slowly suffocating a good friend, simply was compounded by my anxiety over literally knowing nothing about what I’m doing and where I’m going. Plopping down unceremoniously into my jump seat, I pulled up YouBible and started scrambling for something to calm me. I found it: Psalm 19. Also, eating everything I could helped.

Jerschinas are supposed to be invincible… and we ARE. But I’m constantly eating loads of food and chugging water, and so even a perceived lack of either can be very stressful, despite my knowledge that I should be able to survive weeks without the former and at least half a week without the latter. Either way, knowing that I don’t have some horrible intestinal disease and consequently do not explosively spew the contents of my stomach into the seat of my pants periodically, does not alleviate the fact that I am hungry. (One year later editor's note: I'm not sure how I made this jump here, from one train of thought to a barge on a river thought... musta been something I ate.)

The worst thing is waiting. I want to get somewhere and do something, or even nothing. Either is fine. If Japan doesn’t work I’ll do the HelpX exchange at that camp. If I do make it, I’ll be in a country I’m not supposed to be in surrounded by people I don’t know and can’t understand, and that actually sounds like alot of fun, at least for a little while. Right now, though, I’m out of reading material and stuck pacing around the cargo bay, peeking down through the crew chief door window.  It’s like being on the other side of a glass window with the shades down, knowing that all sorts of goodies wait on the other side, except you don’t know what they are. Hopefully Australia, soon!

A land of marmite, sweet accents, and deadly everything.

I need motivation is my problem, and right now “It’ll be an awesome story” isn’t really cutting it. I’m not about the suck. I’m about looking pretty and being cool. If I get to Japan and bum around and couchsurf, it’s better than stewing at home, but within a month Kosovo awaits, and there’ll be camaraderie and photos and food and supervised trips that I’ll dutifully abandon. See, hitchhiking a thousand miles through Canada would be cool, and there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, so to speak; a tangible end goal… “the wild.” This is what the Army has done to me: instilled this terrifically insane notion that I need a team around me and I need a mission to complete. Like noone says, the Army giveth, and the Army taketh away…